Post by LA Clippers on May 10, 2007 10:36:58 GMT -5
In the recent media release, GM Boomer Purser agreed to participate in a press conference to answer some questions. After other scandalous press releases, the conference was pushed back. We are now here ready to begin, but first let me set the scenery.
The day started out beautiful as no other Los Angeles day in recent memory. The smog was at a record low. Traffic was actually moving at a quick pace, and starbucks had a seldom buy one get one free day. You could say it was the beginnings of a great day. However, upon my entrance into the Staples Center, a tainted atmosphere filled the Arena. The downhill spiral preceded from there.
I'm you narrator and reporter for this crazy media journey into the Twilight Zone of professional Basketball. My name is Ivan Jagunhof.
The Coach and GM of the Clippers boomerpurser meet me at the front of the arena. Gave me a quick tour and we proceeded to the press room. I say the tour was quick, because there were many areas blockaded of with yellow tape or enclosed in a type of white hessco wall. As I entered in the press room I noticed many of the other reporters with a disgusted look on their faces. I began to ask why; many tried to answer, many just shook their heads, and others stared off in bewilderment. Needless to say we were in story for a life altering experience.
[glow=red,2,300]
boomerpurser: Good day to all of you, and thanks for coming. I will open with a brief statement, and then open to floor for questions and comments. O.K.------------(statement) The team and I are on a very understanding level. Our goals and attitudes are the same. We are a team, not just the players but the whole organization. Starting with the owner, me, every player, all the way down to the trainers and medical personnel in the club house. Now as of the recent comments of my former players. That was a different time and a different me. I improved persona, I'm more interpersonal and conceptual now. I do still have my temper, just ask the last reporter I came in contact with. Now, as for the scandal of the former GM and Mascot. I don't know what happened, but your questions will hopefully be answered by the end of this conference. As some for some of you who were here early, you have already drawn some of you own conclusions. O.K. I'm opening the floor up.
ABC News reporter: Coach Purser, if that title will suffice. Is it true that you have had run ins with Mario before.
Purser: Yes, Mario is a very strange character. I've known of him attempting to cheat before. Mario would literally to anything in his power to win or at least come out on top.
ESPN News: You've also worked with Jaybourne before have you not.
Purser: Yes, around the same time I was working with Mario. They always seemed to be around at the same time. They where also very, shall I say sociable with one another.
ESPN News: What do you mean Sociable.
Purser: They have private dealing with each other many trades that where one sided. These trades usually only involved them, and no-one else even new that either one had a block up.
BDSS News: Alright, I'll ask it. Is there any truth to the rumor. The rumor of there being inappropriate relations between the two.
Purser: Did you hear my statement. Where you here before the Conference. Didn't you see the tape. Hell make your own conclusions.
BDSS News: Yes I was here and I did see the tape. It leaves a very vague view though. You can definitely tell that that is Mario, but the other is wearing a military helmet with an Elvis mask on under it. The only thing that gives us a clue of who it is, is the shirt that reads The Bourne Identity on the back.
Purser: Exactly, I can't say one way or the other.
Ivan Jagunhof Mariner News: Coach Purser sir I wasn't here early is there anyway I can see this tape.
----A Hush sank over the crowd. The rumble of side conversations screeched to a halt. A stray voice from the back releases a plead of "Lord no please not again". Then the lights died down. Blackness encroached on our eyes. Then Screeee, and a glow of the static from the T.V.s was all you could hear or see.----
Images of two men slowly came into focus. I could point out Mario, but the other man was just like described earlier. however, besides the helmet, shirt and mask neither was wearing anything else. The sign behind them read. Garriputo's Brots and Beer. The corner eatery in the Staples Arena that was hesscoed up.
Mario was bound by Clippers jerseys and being slapped repeatedly with huge Sausages, all the while sing the Nintendo Mario Brothers theme. It echos in my head now--do do do dodododado do do dado.....You know the one. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen, or was it. It seemed the two where tied together by some sort of rope knotted in there back area. Upon closer inspection, it was no rope but Brit links that connected the two. Lets just say the links got the ass end of the deal, and When you think it couldn't get any worse, It did.
Just then...................
...................................TO BE CONTINUED.......................................
The day started out beautiful as no other Los Angeles day in recent memory. The smog was at a record low. Traffic was actually moving at a quick pace, and starbucks had a seldom buy one get one free day. You could say it was the beginnings of a great day. However, upon my entrance into the Staples Center, a tainted atmosphere filled the Arena. The downhill spiral preceded from there.
I'm you narrator and reporter for this crazy media journey into the Twilight Zone of professional Basketball. My name is Ivan Jagunhof.
The Coach and GM of the Clippers boomerpurser meet me at the front of the arena. Gave me a quick tour and we proceeded to the press room. I say the tour was quick, because there were many areas blockaded of with yellow tape or enclosed in a type of white hessco wall. As I entered in the press room I noticed many of the other reporters with a disgusted look on their faces. I began to ask why; many tried to answer, many just shook their heads, and others stared off in bewilderment. Needless to say we were in story for a life altering experience.
[glow=red,2,300]
Press Conference:
[/glow]boomerpurser: Good day to all of you, and thanks for coming. I will open with a brief statement, and then open to floor for questions and comments. O.K.------------(statement) The team and I are on a very understanding level. Our goals and attitudes are the same. We are a team, not just the players but the whole organization. Starting with the owner, me, every player, all the way down to the trainers and medical personnel in the club house. Now as of the recent comments of my former players. That was a different time and a different me. I improved persona, I'm more interpersonal and conceptual now. I do still have my temper, just ask the last reporter I came in contact with. Now, as for the scandal of the former GM and Mascot. I don't know what happened, but your questions will hopefully be answered by the end of this conference. As some for some of you who were here early, you have already drawn some of you own conclusions. O.K. I'm opening the floor up.
ABC News reporter: Coach Purser, if that title will suffice. Is it true that you have had run ins with Mario before.
Purser: Yes, Mario is a very strange character. I've known of him attempting to cheat before. Mario would literally to anything in his power to win or at least come out on top.
ESPN News: You've also worked with Jaybourne before have you not.
Purser: Yes, around the same time I was working with Mario. They always seemed to be around at the same time. They where also very, shall I say sociable with one another.
ESPN News: What do you mean Sociable.
Purser: They have private dealing with each other many trades that where one sided. These trades usually only involved them, and no-one else even new that either one had a block up.
BDSS News: Alright, I'll ask it. Is there any truth to the rumor. The rumor of there being inappropriate relations between the two.
Purser: Did you hear my statement. Where you here before the Conference. Didn't you see the tape. Hell make your own conclusions.
BDSS News: Yes I was here and I did see the tape. It leaves a very vague view though. You can definitely tell that that is Mario, but the other is wearing a military helmet with an Elvis mask on under it. The only thing that gives us a clue of who it is, is the shirt that reads The Bourne Identity on the back.
Purser: Exactly, I can't say one way or the other.
Ivan Jagunhof Mariner News: Coach Purser sir I wasn't here early is there anyway I can see this tape.
----A Hush sank over the crowd. The rumble of side conversations screeched to a halt. A stray voice from the back releases a plead of "Lord no please not again". Then the lights died down. Blackness encroached on our eyes. Then Screeee, and a glow of the static from the T.V.s was all you could hear or see.----
Images of two men slowly came into focus. I could point out Mario, but the other man was just like described earlier. however, besides the helmet, shirt and mask neither was wearing anything else. The sign behind them read. Garriputo's Brots and Beer. The corner eatery in the Staples Arena that was hesscoed up.
Mario was bound by Clippers jerseys and being slapped repeatedly with huge Sausages, all the while sing the Nintendo Mario Brothers theme. It echos in my head now--do do do dodododado do do dado.....You know the one. It was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen, or was it. It seemed the two where tied together by some sort of rope knotted in there back area. Upon closer inspection, it was no rope but Brit links that connected the two. Lets just say the links got the ass end of the deal, and When you think it couldn't get any worse, It did.
Just then...................
...................................TO BE CONTINUED.......................................
